I used to pride myself on how laid back I could be. It’s a trait that would draw people to me sometimes. Growing up with a mother who freaked out about everything she couldn’t control, I mastered the ancient art of not giving a flying fuck. Until recently that is..

Now I’m the control freak — my mother’s child to a fault. I hate it, frankly. I’ve become the friend who has to know every little detail about our plans for the day/night, the girl who notices and speculates about why she didn’t get texted back, the girl who gets too close too fast, the girl who thinks she’s fat when she clearly isn’t. Yeah.. hate that shit.

It was super easy for me to just chill the fuck out when things were going my way for the most part — and even when they weren’t because majority of life was good. My life doesn’t suck by any means but I’ve lost that ability to just let go sometimes because of a few misplaced pieces of trust. 

I’m recovering though. Although Im embarrassed by my behavior sometimes— I do acknowledge that it is out of my nature and undesirable which is very difficult to admit for most people… that means I deserve a fucking cookie.

Sugar, please.